A Daily Conversation

And now, for your edification, I present this discussion that I have with myself every weekday morning.

<Sound of alarm going off>

Huh?! Wuzzat?

Will you please shut that damned thing off? I'm trying to sleep here!

Oh yeah, right! <Directs my hand to turn off the alarm> So, we ready to go? Time to get some exercise!

What kind of masochist are you? It's a quarter to five! We've got fifteen minutes til the second alarm goes off. Then we'll talk...

Oh, yeah, right. OK then, back to sleep...

<zzzzzzz>

<zzzzzzz>

<zzzzzzz>

<Sound of alarm going off>

Huh?! Wuzzat?

Oh, for the love of... Will you turn that damned thing off already? How am I supposed to sleep?!

Oh yeah, right! <Directs my hand to turn off the alarm> OK, time to go now, that was the second alarm. It's five, it's time to get moving! There's exercising to do. Woo-hoo!

Dude, I hate to exercise. I'm not goin'

No way! I love to exercise. Let's go!

No. I'm comfy, I'm warm, I'm tired, the cat is on my feet. I'm staying put.

Sissy...

Bite me...

Come on, you know I feel great after a good, healthy workout.

What?! I'm worn out! Exhausted! Sometimes I can't catch my breath!

Yeah, and that lasts for about five minutes, then I feel great!

I'm always frickin' sore.

Only when I overdo it. Most often, I'm only sore for a few minutes, then I feel fine.

I'm tired.

Yeah, but I always feel wide awake afterward.

Then why do I drink all that coffee.

... I like the taste ...

Yeah, but I really drink it because I'm too tired to make it through the day.

Bullcrap!

Dude, I only get about five hours of sleep a night! I'm always tired! That extra hour helps a lot.

Wellllll.....

Gotcha.

You can't deny I feel better overall, though.

I'll give you that.

Besides, when else am I supposed to work out? Not after work...

No way! I've been there that late. It's a zoo.

Then this is really the best time to go.

Fine. You go then. I'm staying.

Ummmm.... We're the same person, doofus. If I go, you're going.

Nope. Guess we're staying, then.

Look. Why did we even start this whole thing in the first place?

The doctor told me to lose 30 pounds.

Yeah, but I've blown off doctor's orders before. What's the real reason?

I love my wife. I want to be around with her for a long time.

That's right. And we're going through all this crap to help that become a reality.

Yeah, yeah, yeah...

Don't "yeah, yeah, yeah" me! I'm 36 years old and have never been in good shape. Never! I'm getting to old to be starting. Dad was only 41 when he had his heart attack! Is that what I really want?

Noooo.....

There. It's settled.

Yeah...

Let's go, then.

Tomorrow.

And then the whole arguement starts all over again. At some point, one side will get sick of listening to the other and a decision will be made.

You may now return to your regularly scheduled lives.